"Its a privilege to grow old with the person who loves you." - P.S. I Love You

OK. So yes, I am all game for a new job...

I need a job where:

One day I cant write. The other day, I can work on photos. The next, I can learn to photograph. Day four, I can design something, On the fifth day -- I get to work on Macro-media Flash or Audio-edit or video-edit or other things. And, I get to swap the work between days. I am willing to put in my usual 12-14 hrs everyday.

And, Day six and seven -- I ll get to continue to dance, swim, watch movies and do everything for which I my pay-cheque pays.

I know all this might sound as a laid-back worker's unreasonable demands. But, mind you -- I never ever take a job for granted. I put in a lot of effort towards responsibilities.

Its just that, I am a quick learner and I know bit and pieces of varying software used for different purposes. Is it not possible to have a job where I don't have to let all that knowledge rot?

Whenever I own an organization, I ll make it a point to let people use all their knowledge to gain much more, and in the process -- earn money for me. A symbiotic working relationship, that's what I am looking at.

Any takers for me??

Thanks for the memories ...

When Audrey, a 55+ year old intestinal cancer patient cleared her almost non-existent voice and said 'God Bless You All' when we went to meet her after donating blood for her, I felt like I was forgiven for at-least one of the sins I have committed in my life.

Am going to donate blood regularly, once in three months.

Appreciate any of you who wish to follow this. Its the tiniest bit of help we can do as humans.

Crush
Soul mate
Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Lover
Husband/Wife

More often, they are never the same person. Why?

Ola Amigos!
(NOTE: this could be a sloppy cheesy post)

Its 'World Hug Day' today and this post is a tribute to that.

Popular assumption among my friends and family is that I am against hugging. I ll take this chance to tell them all - No. NO. N.O I am not against hugging. Its just that, from where I come (a small heaven named Coimbatore), nobody really hugged anyone.. So I grew up thinking that Hug is something very personal, something that is shared between a couple or romantically involved people. Although I got out of Coimbatore, I found it difficult to get used to being hugged. So most of the guys I know of stay away from me and my girl-friends often complained. Hm mm, to all of u - There are times when I have wanted to hug one or the other of u guys. But I held back, only coz it felt odd. Only if you guys had come forward and hugged, I d have passed off as a teddy bear :)

So here goes my official reasons to hug the most important people in my life. (No, I will not include 'Milind Soman' in this list :P)

Mom
For just being the person that you are. If there is one person I can never hurt, never stop loving and never ever seperate from my own self, its you! HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Dad
For all that unconditional love. I think I have been really mean to you at times. Its just that, I dont have a very human way of telling people how much I love them. Sorry for everything. Love you.
HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Sis (Younger)
Sometimes being my elder sister and most of the times being an acute pain. Cannot think of a world without u. You are just another extension to my body. Like an extra hand or leg. HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Shwet
For all those years of being there for me. I know I never say this, but, I genuinely care for you and want good things to come your way. HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Him
For making me fall in love. You are irreplaceable. And so is the way I feel for u. Love you. HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Sharu
For being there, forever :) You are one other person who deserves good things in life. I ll be around to see you much happier than you are now. Way to go girl! HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

V
For all those happy moments we had together. The midnight surprises, first kiss, every small thing. Wish they lasted longer.HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Kruti
For being my alter-ego. Despite the obvious differences You are my personality's mirror reflection, I have felt often. HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Ranjith
For being a sweetheart. My confession box :) HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Jay
For having been a best friend. I feel terrible that things changed because of my stupidity. I know we are still friends but nothing will ever be the same, the way it used to be........ But those good old days are tremendously missed. HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

And a million other people I have wanted to hug........ Love you all! HUGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Much ado about nothing. Or... about something that meant everything.

15 reasons why I should not (or should) kill myself:

1. I am a unique asset to the sports world. Please don't assume that am boasting, but honestly, I have never seen anyone who can be so pathetic at everything related to sports.
Tennis, cricket, and everything else - The only connection I have with these games is the way I drool over HOT players.
Carroms - argh! I am quite a sight when I play that. If I hit a coin, its merely coz of the location change in my birth stars.
Foosball - Mostly I am hitting the ball to the wrong side.
basketball - by far, my only fav. sport. The best I ve done here is winning a Mr. Bean (ok,u can rofl) key-chain after playing in Amoeba!

2. I have the most sexiest legs in the world.
They never ever touch the ground when am seated. Almost always, my legs are dangling in the air. I plan to donate my legs for scientific research after my death.

3. 6 months and still super bad at Salsa.My partner usually sweats trying to spin me.

4. Cooking - Never-mind.

5. Sleeping - preferred duty. Done shamelessly. Anywhere, anytime.

6. At 21, I tried my hand at/on a two wheeler. After I tried for a while, my friend who was teaching me how to ride, genuinely felt that I should not touch a vehicle in my life again. I have been blindly following her advice since then :P

7. I attended violin classes for two weeks. I tried all tricks -- not to play the damn thing -- but to get myself out of those classes. Nothing worked. Finally I cried out loud, and they chucked me out. That was the most peaceful day in my life.

8. Even after 15 days of swimming classes, I swim like I am drowning in water. Everybody in the pool knows me well by now. (not coz am a great swimmer, but because I go n bang on to everything/everybody, everytime)

9. I have a peculiar way of dealing with men. I have had two and a half breakups without ever being in a relationship.

10.I go for long walks and occasional jog around the park. I walk straight into a hotel and belt like a pig.I eat subway salad for lunch and a sinful sizzling brownie for dessert. Go figure.

11.When people complain, I feel like chewing their heads of. no no, am not complaining about that :P

12. I have been knitting a muffler for around three months. (It ideally takes 24 hrs)

13. I have three skirts with no matching tops... And I have three tops with no matching pants. Shows how smart I am while shopping.

14-15. I have never ever completed anything that I have started (well, eating excluded)

So many reasons, so many near-perfect characteristics -- I keep telling myself that it ll be a huge loss to the world if I kill myself. Thus, I decide to live longer :P

"Vava, will never leave your hand"

Liar.

Two weeks ago, I had seen a dreamcatcher in a shop in Cook's town. I was immediately intrigued with the bright blue color and the black feathers. I happened to read its history and that only increased my curiosity. For some reason, I did not buy it. But now, I want it. Just to see if there is any truth in its belief. Since I believe in dreams, nightmares, souls and after-life -- I find myself relating to this piece of belief as well.

A dreamcatcher changes a person's dreams. Only good dreams would be allowed to filter through. Bad dreams would stay in the net, disappearing with the light of day. Good dreams would pass through and slide down the feathers to the sleeper.

A woman, in general.
One man, in particular.
Two absolutely different requirements.

The other woman.

There is no wrong in accepting that you have fallen for someone.

Somewhere in between the ego of not accepting what your heart feels, giving up when what you actually want is just a phone call away, denying that it pains when the other person cries for you -- what you actually miss is your chance to be in love.

Note to self and others.

My Judgement on Indian Courts

Last week, I went to the court with a friend of mine. And these are what I deduced out of my experience:

1. Do-not get married. If you ever happen to, please don't apply for a divorce. I d rather choose to live with the guy even if he is an asshole. I mean, I ll choose 'bad' over 'worse'. Bad being the husband and worse being an Indian court case.

2. Please work to prolong ur tendency of yawning if you ve to go to a court.

3. The best profession in the world is to be a judge in an Indian Court. They come in at 11. Sign ten cases. Take a 20 min break at 12.30 and ofcourse, lunch break is at 1.30. After that no new cases are taken. Its great to get paid to do nothing.

4. All the lawyers in the court looked so bored that I was tempted to suggest all of them to get out and get a life.

5. In a day, they take a look at atleast 30-40 cases. And all they do is give the affidavits/plaintiffs another date to come to the court.

6. If you hate somebody, go ahead and kill them. If you look for justice in an Indian Court, u are searching for a non-mallu in Dubai. It's equal to negligent. On the other hand, killing ur enemy is quite cool. By the time the court finally decides to get you to the court to fight your case, your grandson will be honoring your grave with flowers.

7. The court I went to had the worst assholes in the name of lawyers. One kept hitting me at my back. First time, i thought it was by mistake. Second time, I got irritated. Third time, I turned back and stared at him. All that jackass did was to give me a saint-like expression.
To that lawyer - Go get a whore or go fuck yourself. The latter is more probable with that face of yours.

8. My friend has been fighting her case for 8 damn years and her public prosecutor has no idea what the case is about. He said - 'Go get ur next date. I ll read your case by then'. I was zapped.

9. The amount of attention they give you in the court is directly proportional to the amount of money you show them. If you are really rich, U should go to a court. You might get your shoes cleaned if u showed some money. How clean, am not sure.

10. Humanity is questioned in there. Brothers give each other cold-snares, Couples cant wait to get each other cut off, one human cant bear the existence of another one -- even if it is his own mother. Lawyers ask you to come 'alone' so that you can 'discuss' your case with them.

I think court and case and everything is all a humbug. No court can make u human. You got to be one. If you are not, then with the way Indian court cases move, you ll die as a non-human.

"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him." - Rita Rudner

I plan to follow this, just to give myself a deadline to get done with this grief that gives me nightmares, makes me unhappy and kills the sunshine in me. The grief of:
having been an idiot/having lost the guy/making a wrong decision/missing someone who doesn't care. I don't know what am grieving about but it all narrows down to a man.

On a Sunday morning, just before Belly dancing classes -- Me and my friends Shwet and Kruti were having breakfast in a South Indian food joint.

Shwet picks up the Menu card and reads out 'Dosa', 'Idly vada', 'Idly Sambar' and Edly (Idly misspelt ofcourse)

"Now, what's Edly?" She asked
Even before anyone else could comment, she came back with this killer reply herself:
"Hello Ed! Meet Ly!"

Kruti - 'arrrgh.. too bad Shweta. That was a really bad joke!'

I liked the joke though :)

[Belly Dancing + Swimming (a.k.a struggling in water) + Relentless Bangalore Trotting] (over the weekend) = Can't move even one damn muscle for the rest of the week!

Finally, math makes sense.

I want things and people to take a diversion and come back to where they were before. Divert towards me, I mean.

Belly dancing is my newest form of adventure!

All of a sudden, I feel great about having a hip :)

A few months ago, when things were going too fast and making me breathless, I heard:

"The best things in life are unexpected.Now stop! take breath, and accept all the unexpected moments with open arms. "

I did the exact same thing. When a surprise started making me breathless, I stopped, took a deep breath and opened my arms to embrace the unexpected happiness that came my way, when all I really wanted was to stay away.

Now I know - 'When happiness comes unexpectedly, cut it off. Its never ever meant to stay.' I think it was life's way of telling me to stop believing in miracles and fairy tales. I ll try never to believe again.

Am sure happiness will come my way :) Oops, did I again talk about a miracle?! Bah!

Weekend approaching. Plans:
Saturday:
Pick up my lazy ass and a friend (and her ass, she ll pick it herself) and go swimming.
Yeah, haven't been practicing at all. I don't even know if I can swim anymore. Wondering how embarrassing it will be to drown in 4 feet deep water. Sigh! Issues, I tell you.

Friend's birthday bash.
Yeah, tons of fun. yay yay! :)

Evening movie - Sherlock Holmes tops the wish-list for this weekend. Tickets and the bearability (bear + ability) of the movie are questionable. Gonna try anyways :)

Sunday:
Early (yeah, right!) morning - Rock climbing with a friend. Ever seen anyone fall off a wall coz they felt sleepy in-between? Come, and watch the fun. Limited seats only. Unlimited laughing - FREE FREE FREE!

Use the damn camera and click some pictures. The camera is rotting and so is my brain.

Back to dance class - yes yes yes!! :)

Late evening - Do something, anything.

Damn, its already Monday :(

Weekends have 12 hour days, or is it just me?
Happy Weekend Peeeeeeeeple!

Oh! did i forget to mention? All of this, if I ever manage to get out of my bed :-!

So yes, there was a fairy tale.
There was a prince who could have loved.
And a princess who wanted to know if she could love.
There was rain, there was wind, there was everything.
But, sadly for the princess, there was no happily ever-after.
End of fairy tale.

Here's wishing the prince good days ahead.

(I know people. I have got complaints about posting depressing things on my blog. I assure you, a full-stop is fast approaching :))

'I tried flirting with many, you fell first.'

ouch! never felt so bad about being first at something.

When you forgive, you become human.
When you forget why you forgave, you become an idiot.

I think its more important to not be an idiot than be a human.

New Year Re - Solutions

First of all, three cheers to 'Twenty Ten'... Am all geared up even before I kick-start the year. Every year I make such unreasonable resolutions that I cant even remember them after a while. So, I thought about a single day in my life and made a list of resolutions based on just one day. Here's what I have come up with. Am hoping that I atleast remember these things. Putting them in 'action' is something I like to 'think' about.Well, that's for the long run. For now, here's the list:

1. Eat like a human. Not like a pig.

2. Bring some reactions onto your forever sad looking face. Even if it means attending Bharatnatyam or muscle relaxation classes.

3. Go for early morning walks. yes, that's the moon you are gonna aim at, with the hope that you ll wake up atleast by afternoon n go for the damn walk.

4. Certain things in life are good to lose. Like the additional 15 kgs you are carrying on your body. Shed it, somehow.

5. Use your brains atleast when you shop.
This is 'PRIORITY'.

6. Heart is a very personal thing. Don't let it flutter for every Tom, @#$% and Harry! :P
From now on your heart should go butterflying ONLY for HOT men. The 'other' lot can stay away.

7. Men and Women were never meant to co-exist. They were just meant to be eye-candies for each other. Acknowledge that damn fact.

8. Flirt a little less.

9. Stop contradicting yourself. (read point 6 and 8 for clarity on this)

10. There is only one solution to feeling sleepy. And that is 'Sleep'. Never treat coffee as an anti-sleep potion. There's already enough caffeine in your body, you ll start shitting coffee beans, soon enough.

11. There is nothing like 'too many clothes'. But there definitely is something called 'Too Poor'. The second statement is what should come into your mind when you think of the first half.

12. Hunger doesn't have to be remedied every single time, particularly when you feel hungry 24x7. Just let it be. Indulgence is sin.

13. Learn to love cucumbers and carrots. They don't kill. (aaaarrggghhh... Naaaaaaaahhhhin!)

14. If you don't understand what's going on around you, smile. A nice nod will help too.

15. Swim. At-least like how humans do...

16. Give one more shot at Salsa, you might just get it this time.

17. Buy brighter clothes. (Ouch, that means shopping again)

18. Stop making never-ending list of resolutions and go get a life.


ta-da! :P

"It easier to leave than be left behind." Laura Castelino

Cant agree more!