Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Its been a while since I wrote something/anything substantial, and I am not so happy to admit that life hasn't moved much since then. Nothing life changing has happened yet.

I still wake up late. Quit corn flakes. Laugh like a maniac for jokes (or no jokes) at work. Work like a workaholic maniac. Get back home and not sleep.

I still have terrible sleeping problems. The sleep I carry with me throughout the day vanishes the moment I hit the bed. I've never understood why. All kinds of thoughts creep in... love, angst, craving, guilt, repentance, god-knows-what-the-fuck, everything... and I find myself wide awake until about 3 AM. Years and years of being alive has still not taught me that life cannot be sorted out in one night -- especially when that night is spent on thinking about where I messed up or where life messed me up. I am still waiting for the day when I will finally learn to take a chill pill. Pray for me, one and all.

Sooo.

Last month was quite dramatic, for all the wrong reasons I cannot mention here. The drama having drained out, a few years feel worthless. But then that's something I ve learned to live with. I guess.

I feel like a change. Maybe a different country? ya, that would be great! But I see no signs of a relocation and no signs of dough for a half decent vacation. So once again, am kind of stuck,

But the good things is, I still have atleast about 10 blessings to count and I think that's awesome! Life's not so bad afterall.

I am getting a blackberry. I don't know if I can handle that much of 'keeping-in-touch' with the world. Limbo is my land. Let's see if the BB can do anything to change that.

Then... I still have trouble flirting. I don't feel like it. Atleast I have moved on from not wanting to. That's good news again.

I walk a lot these days -- good news. I haven't lost even half a gram of weight -- terrible news.

So that all the 'news' I had. What's up people?

If you are listening to this, say 'Aye!' (just so that I don't feel like a schizophrenic!)


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