As routine takes a knife and starts cutting into me, little by little, every passing hour, I decide to save myself. I need to stop feeling useless. There's so much I can do. So very much. The fact that I know this makes it even worse. I want to wake up every morning and feel proud of myself, the way I used to. Today, I wake up unwillingly, drag myself to a job I don't love anymore. Being with anything or anyone you no longer love, is a shame. To yourself. So that's what is leading me away from here. Anywhere, is my destination preference. Anywhere where I will know I am working hard and not just lazing around.