A breath-taking love affair....

Recently I watched the movie/drama 2012 and at the end of it I was enlightened with one thing – The world is gonna be full of water in a few years. Everybody survived in the film because they knew to swim. So what happens to poor ignorant mortals like me?

I walked out of the theater deciding to already learn to swim. I made my shopping list, which had to be dealt with right away.

1. Swim Suit – What the heck! I wouldn’t be wearing a swim suit when the world suddenly decides to drown. I ll be in my night clothes. So, shouldn’t I be learning to swim in my pyjamas? Cut the crap. I don’t have a body for swim suits and can never ever imagine myself wearing something like that. I was devastated with the very first obstacle. :( My friend pulled open my blind eyes – If I go swimming, I might just get a body worth a swim suit. But ofcourse, I ll ve to swim for that. So yes, we went suit hunting and there was only one swim suit in the whole of Bangalore which could cater to my unreasonable demands. No sleeveless (possibly full sleeved, yeah rite!), Decent neckline, Long! (#$%^!) and blah blah blah… So I grabbed that grandma version of a swim suit and ran to the billing counter. The shopkeeper gave me an atom bomb in the form of a bill for tat hardly 2 meter cloth. I gulped, paid and ran out.

2. Shower Cap - Yes, It dint occur to me at all. Thanks to my ignorance. My friend enlightened me again n then we went back for a shower cap. The first one was made of the same material cycle tubes are made of. And was the size that ll fit my kitten’s head. My friend struggled her head into it. I couldn’t breathe, just looking at her. So we opted for another cap which looked exactly like the ones that are tied around the heads of babies, except that it dint have a Winnie-the pooh on it. It was plain black, much to my happiness.

3. Waking up early in the morning

Sigh! Some people are not made to do certain things and this was exactly the thing I am not made for. I ll have to wake up at 6 everyday for the next 15 days. I was depressed again.

The D-day:

I don’t know how but I was so excited with all the shopping that I woke up even before my alarm did. Quickly ran around getting ready and on stepping out I realized that it was pouring. I was depressed all over again. On finding out that my classes weren’t canceled, I decided to reach there somehow, even if it meant hiring a submarine (thanks to BTM roads). So I went there and met this super irritating jackass coach. Some people demand a frown, he did and I gave that to him. However, I wasn’t going to let anything/anyone kill my interest.

The pool is decent, blue n all. 5 feet water (ok, u can laugh. I am only 5 4” feet, so with a bit of determination I can drown in this pool). The water was cold anyways. Over that the rain and the skimpy thing I was wearing – I was shivering, making sounds like a typewriter. I thought I was bad but the guy shivering next to me put me to shame.

So yes, first day classes were held by a helper uncle while that supposed coach stood with an umbrella, out of the pool. I was almost convinced that Swimming trainers were people who gave ONLY verbal and moral support. I was wrong (thank god!). That frowning idiot was not our coach. Ours was OOTP (Out of the Pool, like OOTO – Out of the Office) that day coz of the rain while we were ‘shivering in the rain’

Helper Uncle – Head under waaater medam, Bubbbbleees medam, bubbbless.

Me – Nose under water

H.U – Medam, full head under water

Me – Forehead under water

H.U – Medaaaaaaaaaam, Full head with shower cap inside.

Me – I crouched and managed to put my head into water and started bubbling. When it was too much fun I should have realized that I was going wrong somewhere. I was indeed.

H.U – Medam… No bending hand. Keep straight. Head down.

Me – There you go…

So first day officially included bubbleeeeeeing, Holding the wall and floating and unofficially included shivering, losing breath, frowning, cribbing and many such adjectives. But overall, I must admit, It was too much fun. Enough fun to keep me motivated to wake up the next day. I did….

And so continues my daily steamy (swim-suit), breath taking (literally) affair with water. Over-Chlorinated, yes. But, water it is!